Mud, mud, glorious mud

Oh dear.



You know why this is funny? It’s funny because the self-righteous ‘kids’ who grew up bathing in mud and not quite catching dysentery on the left are presumably now the adults who are now glued to their smartphones; you know, the ones who the kids copy. I won’t deny that I need to look up a little bit more, but at least I’m prepared to admit it, rather than going all holier-than-thou.

(Curiously, my children were doing both these things yesterday, within the space of an hour. Presumably we’re getting parenting half right.)


You are a strong, confident woman who does not need to smoke

It’s Time to Talk Day. This means sitting down for five minutes with someone else to speak with them about mental health issues – whether you yourself are affected, are close to someone who is, or would just like to know more.

Alternatively, if you wanted, you could churn out a misguided, borderline offensive piece of rubbish like the one I found on Facebook this morning.

Remember, kids: stay MENTALLY STRONG. Then you too can produce idiotic and patronising platitudes like this one.


Jesus will cure your cancer. Also visit our website for hot deals

Today’s photo-of-a-sick-but-photogenic-child – whose image has been used (probably without permission) to propagate revenue-generating clickbait disguised as emotional blackmail and wrapped up in false theology – comes courtesy of one of those inspiring websites.


Liftbump? Consider yourselves named and shamed.

This little piggy went to the Halal market





In the first instance, this.



The Zayn Sheikh / Peppa Pig fiasco has been well-documented, so I don’t think we need to weigh in with anything new. Suffice to say it was a textbook exercise in testing the public’s ability (or inability) to comprehend satire, to the extent that Zayn had to actually go public and admit the video was a hoax – but not before the story had been swallowed hook, line and sinker by over half the internet and a few national newspapers who frankly ought to have known better. This image – which I’d bet came either from Britain First or the EDL – is doing the rounds all over social media, but it’s a hydra, because every time we shoot it down, three more seem to spring up again in its place.

“I’m finding this so depressing today,” said a friend of mine earlier when we were discussing the Facebook timeline where we found this, and the naive, ignorant lady who’d posted it. “She probably didn’t create that meme. Someone who knew exactly what they were doing did. But she spread the lie to hundreds of people who got angry and will have spread it more. Meanwhile she’s free of any comeback. Indeed I doubt she will come back. She seems like a nice lady who loves her children and believes in Reiki healing. But she just added a little more pain to the world. I half subscribe to the theory that us storytellers used to be the moral compass of the tribe – that’s why even today the majority of films and TV dramas celebrate virtues society need to work better. But a place like Facebook is a forum for a new kind of storyteller from the dark timeline.”

“Moral compass is right,” I said. “Except that I don’t think FB is a forum for dark(est?) timeline storytellers. It’s just an extension of who we are, and I’ve said this before. It’s all that playground gossip and bitchiness – people showing off about their new trainers / video games / girlfriends / cars. The rumours and the backbiting. A lot of people say that Facebook has made the world a more selfish place, but I maintain it just gave us a chance to be the people we’d always wanted to be online – except the name-calling is now much worse, because now if you say horrible things about someone else they’re not going to drop your bag in a puddle or stick your head down the toilet.”

Also – ‘Muslims’, not ‘muslims’. And “tvs”, not “tv’s”. Bloody foreigner’s, coming over here, taking our apostrophe’s.

Not all tears are evil. But some are apparently pointless

Look, the thing is, after all the soul searching and pondering and stupid rhetoric, YOU STILL HAVEN’T REALLY ANSWERED THE QUESTION.

A little boy asked his mother, “Why are you crying?” “Because I’m a woman,” she told him.

“I don’t understand,” he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, “And you never will.”

Later the little boy asked his father, “Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?”

“All women cry for no reason,” was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.

Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked,

“God, why do women cry so easily?”

God said, “When I made the woman she had to be special.

I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort.

I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.

I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed.”

“You see my son,” said God, “the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart the
place where love resides.”

You now have two choices. Like this photo and move on with your life


Share this photo on your wall as a tribute to all the women in your life..!!!!!