Tag Archive | glurge

Mud, mud, glorious mud

Oh dear.



You know why this is funny? It’s funny because the self-righteous ‘kids’ who grew up bathing in mud and not quite catching dysentery on the left are presumably now the adults who are now glued to their smartphones; you know, the ones who the kids copy. I won’t deny that I need to look up a little bit more, but at least I’m prepared to admit it, rather than going all holier-than-thou.

(Curiously, my children were doing both these things yesterday, within the space of an hour. Presumably we’re getting parenting half right.)

You are a strong, confident woman who does not need to smoke

It’s Time to Talk Day. This means sitting down for five minutes with someone else to speak with them about mental health issues – whether you yourself are affected, are close to someone who is, or would just like to know more.

Alternatively, if you wanted, you could churn out a misguided, borderline offensive piece of rubbish like the one I found on Facebook this morning.

Remember, kids: stay MENTALLY STRONG. Then you too can produce idiotic and patronising platitudes like this one.


Jesus will cure your cancer. Also visit our website for hot deals

Today’s photo-of-a-sick-but-photogenic-child – whose image has been used (probably without permission) to propagate revenue-generating clickbait disguised as emotional blackmail and wrapped up in false theology – comes courtesy of one of those inspiring websites.


Liftbump? Consider yourselves named and shamed.

Not all tears are evil. But some are apparently pointless

Look, the thing is, after all the soul searching and pondering and stupid rhetoric, YOU STILL HAVEN’T REALLY ANSWERED THE QUESTION.

A little boy asked his mother, “Why are you crying?” “Because I’m a woman,” she told him.

“I don’t understand,” he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, “And you never will.”

Later the little boy asked his father, “Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?”

“All women cry for no reason,” was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.

Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked,

“God, why do women cry so easily?”

God said, “When I made the woman she had to be special.

I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort.

I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.

I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed.”

“You see my son,” said God, “the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart the
place where love resides.”

You now have two choices. Like this photo and move on with your life


Share this photo on your wall as a tribute to all the women in your life..!!!!!


Honest Memes

Oh, you know the sort. The disabled children who prove the Victorian freak show is alive and well and has its own Twitter account (and Tumblr page). The irritating rants about capital punishment from people too chicken-shit scared to actually throw the switch, but who find it easy to leave poorly-constructed and badly-phrased comments from the comfort of an armchair during an X-Factor marathon. The ones who tell you that “no one posts pictures commemorating the Second World War”. EVERYONE POSTS PICTURES OF THE SECOND WORLD WAR.

Anyway, you’re supposed to fight fire with fire, and these days, that’s what I do. It’s far more fun to come up with a meme that’s about the silliness of some other memes than it is to just complain about it, so here’s a collection. By all means pass these on. Or don’t. I don’t mind either way, and I certainly wouldn’t want to make you feel guilty.

Broad sub-categorisations as follows:

1. The memes that are clearly in it for the hit count

social-media grumpy Chicken


2. The ones that completely miss the point

down-meme Crying


3. The pointless wallowing in false nostalgia


4. Memes for the angry or indignant (or simply illiterate)

flood spellcheck dday


5. And finally.



You see what I meme mean.