Crumbs, it’s been a month. Sorry about that. Let’s get back into the swing of things, shall we? This one was found on Facebook.
As my wife (who is seven months gone) put it, “Or you could say ‘Oi, get off my bladder’.”
Oh, this is wonderful. The photo is overblown, if minimally cute, but the accompanying text pushes this way over the edge and into pass-me-the-bucket-and-a-bottle-of-disinfectant territory. Remember: if you can be heartfelt while ignoring the basic rules of scansion, no one will forgive you if your insipid verse is made up almost entirely of near rhymes.
Slow down mummy, there is no need to rush,
slow down mummy, what is all the fuss?
Slow down mummy, make yourself a cup tea.
Slow down mummy, come and spend some time with me.
Slow down mummy, let’s put our boots on and go out for a walk,
let’s kick at piles of leaves, and smile and laugh and talk.
Slow down mummy, you look ever so tired,
come sit and snuggle under the duvet and rest with me a while.
Slow down mummy, those dirty dishes can wait,
slow down mummy, let’s have some fun, let’s bake a cake!
Slow down mummy I know you work a lot,
but sometimes mummy, its nice when you just stop.
Sit with us a minute,
& listen to our day,
spend a cherished moment,
because our childhood is not here to stay! x